Your thoughts and beliefs have a greater influence on your happiness than you might think. If you’re unhappy, there’s a good chance you might have harmful beliefs or thought patterns that feed on, and perpetuate, your misery.
Once you adopt a more positive mindset and reinforce it regularly, you will realize that, in a sense, happiness is a choice. You can be happy regardless of your circumstances, bank account, and relationship status. Here are the biggest harmful beliefs about happiness that may be holding you back:
You’re Not Good Enough To Be Loved
Many people strive for perfection because they think they’re not good enough to be loved. While it’s important to continually improve yourself, you must love who you currently are as well. You must accept that you’re an imperfect human being who’s doing his best, and remind yourself that your best is enough. You are already good enough to be loved.
Just think about the people you love. Are they perfect? Have they made mistakes? Do they still make mistakes? No, they’re not perfect. They have done things they’re not proud of and continue to make mistakes sometimes. Do you suddenly think they’re unworthy of love? If not, then why would you think that you’re unlovable?
You’ll Be Happy Once You Meet Your Soulmate
The media romanticizes the idea of a soulmate swooping in and saving you from your heartache, emptiness, and depression. Many people think that finding the right man or woman will finally make them happy. This is a dangerous belief, because once you do find a great man/woman, your inner unhappiness will find a way to sabotage the relationship.
It can show up in many forms, such as insecurity, jealousy, irritation, and clinginess. If you haven’t learned how to be happy on your own, you’re going to struggle in a relationship when the initial excitement dwindles.
Although there’s nothing wrong with wanting to fall in love with someone, if you want the relationship to last, you must work on loving yourself first. Shift your focus to being satisfied with your own company. Eventually, through the process of becoming genuinely happy with who you are, you will find that special person and have a healthier relationship as well.
Allowing What Others Think Of You To Ruin Your Day
Many people allow their day to be ruined by being overly concerned about what others may or may not be thinking about them. It’s important to care about what others think, to the extent that it helps for humans to live together in a relatively peaceful world.
After all, you can only receive respect if you give it. Blurting out every thought you have is not a good thing; not only will you come off as rude, but you also can hurt someone with your words.
However, you shouldn’t obsess about what others think, or spend hours in anger or depression. The key is to find balance; take into consideration what others say, but don’t let it knock you down for long.
Read more: How To Let Go Of Anger And Move On
Taking Failure Personally
You win some, you lose some. Failure is painful to go through, especially if you fail at something you put a lot of time and effort into. It’s so easy to feel like a failure when a project flops. The problem with thinking you’re a failure is that it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.
When you view yourself as a failure, you search for more evidence that it’s true. You are likely to continue struggling to achieve your goals when you’re in such a negative mindset.
Remind yourself that you’re not a failure. You’re just a human being going through the learning process like everyone else. If you learn from your failures and mistakes, then you will eventually ace whatever you’re working on.
Associating Being Alone With Loneliness
Many people associate being alone with loneliness. Yet there are some people who enjoy being alone. They aren’t anti-social or mentally ill. They are content with their own company and don’t need other people to make them happy.
Moreover, you can still feel lonely when you are surrounded by people. Time alone is necessary for your mental health. Constantly surrounding yourself with people will deprive your brain of time it needs for reflection and tending to your needs. If you love yourself, you can be happy alone.
It’s normal to feel sad sometimes, but if you’re unhappy most of the time, you must find the core reason you’re unhappy. Having more money or material things is not the answer; it usually comes down to what you think and believe. If your thoughts are predominantly negative, or you care too much about what others think about you, then you’ll be unhappy. By learning to love yourself, thinking more positively, and embracing challenges as learning opportunities, you will find happiness.